I Knew I LOVED you BEFORE I met YOU

In honor of my daughter's birthday today, it wouldn't be right if I didn't dedicate today's love letter to her and what she means to me. This one, my dear love, is for you Sara Sa'Rah Monday...and I'll be sure to read it to you tonight at bedtime. However, allow me to share what you've meant to my life for the last past three years, to the rest of the world. Because this letter is also for every mommy and daddy out here who shares the same love for their babies as I do for my baby.

Happy Birthday!! We've been talking about this particular birthday since maybe your last birthday. And I'm so excited for you and your special day. You have brought me so much Sara, so much that you wouldn't even understand until later. And it hasn't been easy. But I'm sure any mother could second that.

I've been depressed, unsatisfied, downright scared of my next moves...all for you. Sometimes weak, helpless, broke as hell...all for you. I've challenged the manhood of your daddy, denied his love of you and of me, and sometimes hated the life that I brought you into. I wasn't ready, or at least I thought I wasn't...and again, I'm sure every mother could second that.

I still wake up scared, confused, not knowing what the hell to do when you catch fever or throw an unexpected tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. Many days are hard, mainly because they're unpredictable. But most days, my little princess, are irreplacable and just perfect. ALL days that I live, however, are because of you. The hard work, the tenacity, my strength; it all goes to you, Sara.

I still look in the mirror sometimes in a daze. Skinny jeans, size medium t-shirt, and 5 and a half  high top Nikes...all 145 pounds, 5 feet and 2 inches of me... and think, man, I'm somebody's momma! And the shock factor still hits me, still makes me nervous. But couldn't make me more happier. And then I flashback to the first day I knew you were growing inside of me, and how scared I was then. And memories of carrying you, loving you before I had even met you. Wanting the best for you before I had even seen your face. Our hearts would beat together then, and they beat together now.

For all you have brought to my life, and for all that I know you will bring, me and Daddy couldn't be happier to take this journey with you baby. So very proud of you. From the flip things you say that makes me either want to crack up laughing or scold you. To the sleepless nights where I have to force you to bed and the nights I just stare at you while in your bed. I love you princess Sara. Happy Birthday my love.

P.S. My special song for Sara is in my video bar to the left! Sara Smile...

Love,
Vee, a very proud MOMMY