Just last week, myself and Commentator John Fountain III did a week long series of letters on baby momma and baby daddy love and hate. The complications. The embarrassments. The pain. One thing we didn't dig too deep into, however, is the domestic aspect, an element in young and old realtionships that can become a huge issue. And that my loves, is what I will be discussing today. The so called hood love that we share in our relationships that are tainting our hoods and the hearts of the people in them.
So funny, God puts you just where you need to be. I knew before today that I'd run this piece and ended up ironically enough covering a domestic violence summit this morning for another project I freelance for. And at the summit, were men, currently all property of the Illinois Department of Corrections, who shared testimonies about beating their women, and getting beat by their women. The shit was deep.
It got me thinking about situations that I know are playing out in my hood and even things that has played out in my own life. And I gotta keep it real, that life isn't cute. There is nothing attractive about police at your momma's front door because you did something crazy to your boyfriend's car, bruising up your man or pulling out your girl's tracks out of her head. What's messed up, this so called hood love is actually what's up in our communitites. Many schools that I personally work in and many students I mentor, they are living this shit. He hit me because my ex called, I hit him because he called me a bitch. Their living it...and many adults that are forced to bare that, they have lived it, too.
So let's be upfront about some things here. And as usual, I point the fingers at myself too when necessary. The abuse that happens in a domestic relationship comes from somewhere. We always talk about that part. The insecure woman, the angry man from a broken home. The cases vary...but that's all we really conclude. But what's really up? Could it be that society has allowed the media and the forces around us to dictate that this type of sick twisted shit is acceptable, attractive? Has the disrespect that travels from hood to hood gotten that deep? Is it alright that our male role models are getting 15 years with an L...for whooping their women's asses? Too many of the figures our young people look up to are displaying a disrespect that's got some things twisted. It's not cute to put a woman out after having her body. I mean, damn, even Marty Mart had a decency when kicking people out.
The stereotypes around it, as usual, are wack as hell. The fact that a man should NEVER hit a woman should be reciprocated. A damn woman should NEVER hit a man. And ladies, we know some of our men are not always to blame, we push them to unhealthy points... and hell, we gotta take responsibility for the role we had in getting our ass choked up for talking disrespectful, doing some out of line stuff to strip our man of his manhhood.
Regardles off whether or not any of this madness is hard to admit, and trust me, I know that it is, we play a part. So quit playing victims out here and blaming the wrong things that's only turning all this into a big secret and a joke, where police don't even take it seriously enough to protect us. And confront your issues as woman. It's not deserved by anyone, but reality is, it takes to two to shatter a relationshi. Two fists, two hearts. And real talk, most times, it could take all of two damn minutes.
Love,
Vee
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