Baby Momma:
Pretty much. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
But it was you that would ultimately be affected by having a child. It was you that made a decision in which you would carry most of the burden. It was you that made a bad choice in who you wanted to as the father of the child. Now deal with it.
And what is it too late for? Our child is young. There is a lot of life left. Children should get to decide how they view their fathers, but it’s always the mother spewing her opinion on how she thinks that relationship should go. If our child has any ill feelings, it has more to do with what you decide to or not to tell. But it also has a lot to do whether or not I’m around.
And sometimes my lack of presence has more to do with you whining about everything that has nothing to do with a father -child relationship. You whine, bitch and complain. You show elements of a bitter black woman. Most of the time I don’t want to deal with all of the constant nagging. We created a child, and I am doing my part.
Legally, after paying child support I have no other obligation. But we both can draw swords and battle about who has the moral high ground. You have tradition on your side. Most people tend to fall for the sob story of a single black mother from an impoverished neighborhood who had limited options, blah, blah blah… All that matters is our child; nothing more, nothing less.
Just deal with the fact that this relationship will forever be a part of your identity. And thus you will forever be connected to me. You essentially feed, clothe, love and nurture half of my D.N.A. Every time you look at our child, remnants of me show up—good or bad. This was your choice.
So, you are stuck. Forever a baby momma and even if you do get married—which statistically is damn near improbable at a 72 percent rate of unwed black single mothers—you will still be my baby momma. Which brings me back to my original point; Damned if you do and damned if you don’t?
Love,
Baby Daddy
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