I remember when I was about 17 and I was sooo thirsty to get into a club. And in the hood that I was in at the time, Bellwood, it was all about this teen club called Nitro. Looking back now, that place was wack as hell. Nothing but a sweatbox with minors pretending to be grown by engaging in what we thought were grown things. But then, me and all my girls and homies thought it was the place to be. And it was.
Something about the club, though, makes me ponder about some shit. And it could be just once I get all dolled up, the liquor hit my system and lyrics to dumb tracks start sounding good, that my mind starts to dissect what's really happening in the club. And it is definitely something about the club and the sensation of it that's got our hoods going crazy...going broke and making money, all at the same time.
Some of us wait all damn week, until Friday or Saturday night, to get to the club. Hell some of us don't even wait because we go every night or every other night of the week. We find the latest hot spot in the hood with a decent DJ, enough space, our type of people and bottles at the bar. And that, to me, is a pretty good time, if I'm in the mood. But let's discuss that shall we, the mood of the club...Let's discuss the actual mood of the club versus the mood we're really in with ourselves and the people around us.
Sometimes I feel, and this may just be Vee, that the club is a platform for our young women and men to hide inside of shells of cool ass oufits and stuff our securities and emotional issues down Ciroc bottles where we won't remember the truth the next morning. Some of us walk into a club swallowing straight lies, no chasers, about who we are, before even making it to the bar. Some of us go the club seeking some kind of validation for who we are, and end up behaving like who we are not.
If you go out to the club and your man or woman is back home, this may not be for you. Or maybe it is...So often times I've witnessed the club and the sensation of being inside the club an issue to our hoods; and an issue that some of us are trying to deal with within; yet, we run to handle it at the club. Hoping that perhaps someone shows attention by throwing a 10 dollar drink our way, or a compliment, or taking us home and keeping the night a secret.
I'm talking about insecurity...that demon that we can't seem to shake and hide because it's written all over our face...and honey if he's worth it, he can see it beyond your eyeshadow and lipgloss. And any real woman can smell right past your discounted cologne. But yet and still, some of us, too many of us, go to the club looking for some type of answers to questions that are rhetorical because we already know the truth and we're just to afraid to admit it: The club is for a good time, a chance to show off and be free. And very rarely will you seek and find your true love there, so stop looking. And more impotantly, stop pretending and running to the club to try to make believers.
T.I.'s openinng track on his latest album "No Mercy" is called "Welcome to the World". He, with the help of Kanye West and Kid Cudi, speaks on those who may go the club to seek real love. And how they won't find it there. And those brothers are speaking the truth, to men and women. Because the momentum of the club is not for that...and we all know that. Not everyone leaves with someone, but many of us, men and women, do... either someone you know or someone you don't know. And some of us walk into a club with those very intentions. And many of them leave out the clubs with their souls and hearts still at the bar or on the dance floor.
We want to be wanted, we need to be needed and we like to have a good time in the process...that's really the basis of the club. That's really why we all go out of our way to get fly, save our money all week and make sure our whip is clean or we got a ride. We like the club because it makes us feel good about who we are, what we got and what we be on. But once we begin to get lost in those things and that feeling, we start looking to the club to do things that the club just isn't meant to do.
Love,
Vee
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